Why Are Physicists Bad In Bed?

Jo asked me this today. I came up with the following:

• Because a femtosecond is a long time to a Physicist.
• Because their length contracts when they go faster.
• Because the more energy they have, the shorter their time period.
• Because they can’t solve the 3-body problem (thanks XKCD).
• Because they don’t know what goes on inside black holes.
• Because they’re not MACHOs.
• Because they’re a Bohr.
• Because they can’t carry any force when they’ve got a fermion.
• Because their oscillations lose energy quickly when damped.
• Because they tend to Bragg.
• Because they follow the principle of least action.
• Because they find that repetitive motion Hertz.
• Because their Planck length is only 1.6×10⁻³⁵ metres.

and, saving the best until last:

• They’re uncertain since someone interfered with their Young slit.